My Manchester Job Hunt Struggle Diary

Author: Xiaohongshu (RED) blogger “AI Zhida Luobai”

Girls, who can relate?
In the third autumn rain in the UK, I received my seventh rejection email this month. 😭

I collapsed on my bed, staring at the rain-blurred window, while my brain started looping:
“Visa only has eight months left.”
“My parents’ tuition money is going down the drain.”
“If I go back home, people will laugh at me…”

Then I suddenly remembered a method I once saw: separating stories from facts.

I scrambled to grab my planner (yes, the Moleskine I bought to feel like a top student but mostly left collecting dust) and scribbled down all my fears on the left page.

💔 Stories:
“No one wants international students! I’m just a burden.”
“I’ll never find a job — might as well pack and go home.”
“My life is a total failure.”

📊 Facts:
Applied to 47 jobs, got 5 interviews (2 reached final rounds!)
Visa still has 8 months + 2 years PSW as backup
I have a Chinese–British background and bilingual skills — many locals don’t!

I stared at the page for five minutes and suddenly felt like… I could breathe again.
Those “stories” floated away a little like balloons.

The day anxiety killed my appetite, I taped a huge sheet of whiteboard paper on my wall.
Every day I only wrote 3–5 small things I could control:

✅ Today: Only revise the “risk management project” section of my CV
✅ Today: Ask alumna Sarah for coffee to learn about the industry (message sent)
✅ Today: Run for just 15 minutes (allow myself to be low-energy!)

Every time I completed one, I drew a big checkmark with a highlighter.
That moment honestly felt like lighting a tiny firework in the dark. 🎇

A counselor suggested setting a dedicated “anxiety time.”
I chose 4:00–4:15 PM every day.

During those 15 minutes, I allow myself to:
Sit on the floor eating ice cream
Reread rejection emails and cry if I want
Rant wildly in my notes app

But when the 4:15 alarm rings — I stand up, wash my face, and start the first task on my “controllable list.”
Magically, having this “release valve” made anxiety much less likely to ambush me at other times.

Last week I got rejected after a BlackRock final interview.
I cried the whole night.

But the next day, I opened Excel and created a “Job Search Experiment Log”:

Feedback:
Got stuck in the final-round case study
Not familiar enough with UK regulatory policies

Looking at it this way…
It felt less like “the world rejected me” and more like
“Oh, this experiment didn’t work — adjust the variables and try again.”

Don’t carry it all alone.

Last night I video-called my support group — Sara from India and Marc from France.
When I mentioned my “anxiety alarm,” Sara’s eyes widened:
“Oh my god, I need that! I was anxious until 3 AM last night!”

And suddenly I felt…
I wasn’t drifting alone in this rainy storm. 🌧️

This morning when I opened my eyes, there was an email quietly waiting:
“Invitation to Final Interview…”

My heart skipped a beat.
But I didn’t spiral up or down like before.

I got up and wrote on my board:

✅ Today: Review the company’s last 3 earnings calls and prepare 2 questions

Then I fried myself an egg. 🍳

The rain is still falling.
But I know my little boat is still rowing forward.